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A hard-nosed cop reluctantly teams up with a wise-cracking criminal temporarily paroled to him, in order to track down a killer.

In spite of being apprenticed to a Pirate King as a child, Frederic has led a very sheltered life. So when he arrives in Penzance with his boisterous shipmates, there are a few surprises in store for him! It all ends happily, but not before he's dodged the Old Bill, fallen in love and made some rather inconvenient discoveries.

What happens when a person decides that life is merely a state of mind? If you're Betty, a small-town waitress and soap opera fan from Fair Oaks, Kansas, you refuse to believe that you can't be with the love of your life just because he doesn't really exist. After all, life is no excuse for not living. Traumatized by a savage event, Betty enters into a fugue state that allows -- even encourages -- her to keep functioning... in a kind of alternate reality.

When Rudy, an artifacts smuggler, goes to Jerusalem to rescue his kidnapped archeologist father, he faces deportation by a scheming police chief. Now, to find his dad and recover a sacred scroll, he'll have to outwit officials and a ruthless sect. With the help of a beautiful Israeli cop, Rudy battles a faction of religious zealots determined to see a holy war at all costs.

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

An aspiring teenage cartoonist and his friends come to the aid of a singer trying to save her family property from developers.