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Orphaned and left in the desert as an infant, Evil Roy Slade (John Astin) grew up alone—save for his teddy bear—and mean. As an adult, he is notorious for being the "meanest villain in the West"—so he's thrown for quite a loop when he falls for sweet schoolteacher Betsy Potter (Pamela Austin). There's also Nelson L. Stool (Mickey Rooney), a railroad tycoon, who, along with his dimwitted nephew Clifford (Henry Gibson), is trying to get revenge on Evil Roy Slade for robbing him.

Jack Cooper (Matt LeBlanc) could be a world-class baseball pitcher if he didn't keep buckling under the pressure. He tries to keep his spirits up after he's traded to a minor league team but loses all hope when he discovers that Ed, one of his teammates, is a chimp. Ed used to be the team mascot, but was promoted to third base when the owners realized he had a talent for baseball. As Jack struggles to get used to his new surroundings, Ed helps him regain his confidence on and off the field.

LAPD Sgt. Joe Friday -- the equally straight-laced nephew of the famous police sergeant of the same name -- is paired up with a young, freewheeling detective named Pep Streebeck. After investigating some strange robberies at the local zoo and the theft of a stockpile of pornographic magazines, they uncover cult activity in the heart of the city and are hot on the case to figure out who's behind it all.

A shy but gentle man named Clifford Skridlow is a professor of comparative literature at the financially-strapped fictional Monroe College in Chicago. A chance encounter with four beautiful women at a restaurant changes his life forever.

When a tough western town needs taming, the mild-mannered son of a hard-nosed sheriff gets the job.

A massive ball of furry creatures from another world eat their way through a small mid-western town followed by intergalactic bounty hunters opposed only by militant townspeople.